Make your own free website on

First Agreement

Don’t make assumptions


Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

The third Agreement has some very interesting information. As we saw in Agreement One, Be Impeccable with our words. Say what we mean, avoid using "BAD" words against ourselves and others. Use our words with Love and Compassion. In Agreement Two, Don't take anything Personally, tells and shows us once we accept ourselves, Believe in ourselves, know our limits and what we can do, it is not important what others think about us. Because it is our lives and our story we are creating. When we allow other people comments and thoughts to "change" our choices, than we are not living our own life. We are living theirs.

The Third Agreement, Don't make Assuptions, it tells us to find the courage to ask questions and to express what we really want. It is for some hard to ask questions. If someone said something that you perceived as "offending" or maybe not in a good light, than we need to ask them what did they mean by that comment or thought. Because when we feel "miffed", normally we don't say anything. We Assume in our mynds of something not good. So if I fail to ask, and assume they were trying to "belittle" me, what will my reaction be? I could get angry, upset, sad, but either emotion I will feel resentful towards them. Meaning each tyme I speak or see them, that comment will pop up in my head. Does it sound familar? Sure it does, because we all do it.

Here is something else to look at. Let say an event did happen like this. But if it is other than just blantant being rude, would that person know they had offended me? Absolutely not, because we never asked,if we don't ask, they don't know. No one can read another person mynd or "intent".

This is why it reads on in Agreement 3 communicate with "others" clearly to avoid "misunderstandings, sadness and drama". If I assume, am I communicating to clear up the chaos or confusion? No!! So we really have choices to pick from. Accept the situation and assume, or ask and clear it up so there is no misunderstandings. It comes down to this, pick to be angry and sad, or resentful, or pick to clear up a misunderstanding and let it go.

Just a factoid to file for future references, if you break the word ASSUME down, it reads like this, ass-u-me. I only say this because we always expect and assume the worst, and jump to conclusions. This ceates chaos and confusion with us. This hurts us. It is not of our Spirit/Soul.

The Third Agreement ends with a very special statement. With this one agreement you can COMPLETELY transform your life. It is a very powerful comment. When we learn to be impeccable with our word, meaning we choose words that constructs and create instead of destroy and hinder. When we learn not to take anythig personally, being if someone said something that might have upset us inside, than we use the 3rd Agreement, to ask and clear any misunderstandings, and when this is cleared, we will see we do have a choice to make things in our lives less stressful and complicated. This is how we can learn to Transform (make change) in our lives completely.


Walk In Peace


Return to 4 Agreement or to Main Page